


Fifth Date Rule

by michaelWayland



Series: Mentor? More Like High Profile Dad in Disguise [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Heart-to-Heart, Humor, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parent Tony Stark, Precious Peter Parker, The Talk, Tony Being Tony, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 08:47:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14745665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/michaelWayland/pseuds/michaelWayland
Summary: Peter and MJ's fifth date is just around the corner. Tony Stark feels the need to give him The Talk because one: he's the closest thing Peter has for a dad and two: aunt may isn't available for talks like this due to her hectic work schedule





	Fifth Date Rule

"Hey loser."

 

Peter hastily shoved his books inside his locker. He then faced MJ, who, with a smirk, grabbed him by his collars and pulled him in for a kiss. Peter pressed his lips against hers, and allowed himself to savor the softness as the familiar warmth started to seep through his bones. It was just a peck, a quick kiss, yet the sparks inside his body went off wildly anyway. 

 

Now, MJ usually never displays her affection like this, but it's four pm,the hallways are mostly deserted and Ned went for the bathroom. 

 

Peter pulled back with a grin, holding her at arm's length. He could seriously get lost in her brown eyes if he stared for too long, so he opted to let his eyes wander  _everywhere — her hair, her clothes, the metal lockers, the dingy floors._

 

After all this time, he still can't believe that he would date anyone, let alone somebody like MJ. He was too much of a social pariah in the school; too scrawny (despite the body spurt thanks to the spider bite) for girls who are into jocks, too nerdy to function even for girls who are into nerds, and then there's the issue of being a punching bag. Nobody wants to date a punching bag.

 

Maybe it isn't obvious, but MJ never minded scrawny, nor his nerdy antics with Ned, and she likes the idea of having her personal punching bag — somebody she can vent her personal problems on, somebody she can tease and insult without being offending, somebody she can use as her model of sorts on her drawings, the works. He is a good listener, and he can actually pull up a witty retort if he wanted to. 

 

"I larb you too." Peter huffed. 

 

"Of course you do." Mj rolled her eyes and punched him playfully on his arm. She reached into the pocket of her jeans and handed him his pen, which he lent early on. Peter shivered when her fingers brushed against his hand. He never would have thought he'd be head over heels like this, but he never minded either. It felt nice, being jn love. Peter could sure use a refreshing break from all the stuff he's gone through. "Just came by to return that to you." MJ stated. 

 

"Thanks." 

 

MJ crossed her arms against her chest. "And also to remind you that we have decathlon practice first thing in the morning tomorrow."

 

Peter blinked. He was supposed to turn over his homework to his first subject, which is history, tomorrow. "Wh-what about Mr. Delacourt? I have a paper due tomorrow."

 

MJ shrugged. "You can make a run for the faculty room tomorrow before you head for the practice, which means you —" she halted, staring at a small clique making their way through the hallway talking about what annoying bratty girls usually talk about. "—You're gonna have to tone your whole 'Stark Internship' thing down tonight." MJ said with a wink and an airquote. 

 

Peter disclosed about him being Spiderman in their first date; he took her to the thai restaurant where May and him grabs dinner. Turns out MJ isn't as surprised as he had hoped to be; she does have her share of suspicion on Spiderman's identity and she may have connected the dots linking him and the friendly neighbor resulting in a deduction that is almost accurate. 

 

Almost

 

Peter kissed her goodnight after that dinner. She walked him home, then changed into his suit in a dark alley. Before leaving for patrol, however, he decided to say his goodbyes to his date formally by rapping his knuckles on her window which startled her. He webbed himself to her roof so he was hanging upside down. MJ took her time to gawk at his spider suit.

 

"Mr. Stark made this for me." Peter bragged. 

MJ whistled. "Cool. Aren't you supposed to be saving Queens from god knows what?"

 

Peter shrugged. "I gotta say goodbye to you first."

 

MJ rolled her eyes, but there was a grin planted on her face, a rare sight. She opened her window, and to his surprise, pulled his mask down so his lips are exposed and kissed him. 

It was his first kiss. The butterflies in his stomach bursted out of his body, and his heart threathened  to follow them. 

 

"Yeah, I'm going to bed early." Peter scratched his head. His phone vibrated in his pocket. Flustered, he took the phone out and read Happy's message. He smiled apologetically at MJ, "I gotta go. Mr. Stark needs me in his lab."

 

"Go make him a sandwich." She teased while patting him on the shoulder for encouragement. "Seriously, though. Sleep early. You don't wanna be late tomorrow because I'm making sure latecomers get the hotseat."

 

Ned went out of the bathroom conveniently — just in time for Peter and MJ to share another kiss. Smiling to himself, he shouted at them, "Get a room, please!"

 

Their laughter echoed around the silent halls. 

 

FRIDAY instructed Peter to head for the lab as soon as he arrived. He thanked the AI, and he was taken to the floor through the elevator. On the way down, he started to brainstorm again on where to take MJ  for their fifth date. He is running out of ideas, and that is mainly because he's putting his budget as the top standard. 

 

"Hey, Mr. Stark!" Peter greeted when he arrived at the floor. Mr. Stark is busy tinkering with his armor's arms, so he responded without looking up. "Hey, Underoos. Hope you like Chinese." He jerked his head to one of the work tables, where chinese take outs are laid. 

 

"I'm not hungry." Peter laid his backpack on one of the spare chairs and headed to his workstation situated right beside Tony's. His new formulas for his webs are there, and Mr. Stark took the initiative to grab the chemicals he needed as well as the equipment. "Those formulas look promising, kid." Mr. Stark quipped. "What are you trying to achieve on those?"

"Um, I was wondering if I could make a more solid variation of my webs?" Peter coyly said. He still isn't used to Tony approving his work. Hell, he still isn't used to work with  _the_ Tony Stark beside him. "See if I can use them to make batons out of my webs? I can't rely on my aim all the time."

 

Mr. Stark hummed affirmatively. "Sometimes, it does rather feel good to whack people's brains out."

 

They worked in silence. There wasn't anything uncomfortable about it. If anything, Peter seemed to appreciate it. 

 

He was distracted during his work, though. Tony may have noticed the dreamy look on the boy's eyes, and the wide grin plastered on his face. That would be considered normal under most circumstances, but Peter accidentally webbed his own hands during the process, which prompted him to go by his side and ask him how he's doing.

 

It took Peter a while to answer, though. "Huh? Oh! Um, I'm fine, Mr. Stark." He said as he picked at the webs off his hands with a goofy smile. 

It wasn't a bad thing — Peter being happy never is a bad thing — but it poked at his curiosity anyways. He never saw Peter so lovestruck. 

 

Smirking, he draped an arm to Peter's shoulder, which made the boy yelp in surprise. "So," Tony started, "An MJ for your thoughts?"

 

Peter gaped at him. "What? No! No, um. I'm not - I wasn't thinking about MJ what makes you think that?"

 

Peter being a nervous bundle of joy and fidgeting around, smiling like a fool to himself as he trapped himself in his own web while gazing at the wall dreamily  as he scratched his head and bit his lip probably to stop himself from whimpering makes Tony think that.

 

"So how did your last date go?" Tony prodded, his eyebrow raised. 

 

"Our fourth date?" Peter asked. Tony nodded, "You guys are already in your fourth?"

 

Peter meekly nodded. 

 

"What do you plan for the fifth?"

 

Peter shrugged. He is too busy brainstorming what exactly should they do on their fifth date that wouldn't make his wallet weep. 

 

Mr. Stark stood up. He gestured at the food he ordered. "Let's have a break." He wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans and obliged. 

 

Peter was in the middle of slurping the soup out of his noodles when Tony asked a question out of the blue, "Your place or hers?"

 

Peter stared at his mentor, dumbfounded. What does Mr. Stark mean? He thinks Tony is suggesting they hang out on their place which isn't a bad idea at all.

 

Peter took way too long to answer, though. Tony sighed. "Where are you guys gonna do it? Your bunk? Her bed? Some three-star hotel room?"

 

Peter furrowed his eyebrows. "Do what?" He just isn't getting Mr. Stark's point, if there's any. 

 

Tony stared at him. "You don't know the fifth date rule?"

 

Peter shook his head. 

 

Tony sipped his coffee, his eyes crinkling,  a silent way of laughing at the kid's innocence. Peter doesn't seem to notice though.

He laid his mug down, and with a smug look on his face, he casually dropped, "You are supposed to have sex with your partner on your fifth date."

 

Peter blinked his clueless innocent eyes at him. It sure took a while before the realization sunk in. Tony pulled out his phone and filmed the kid's face slowly turn to red. The blush started on his ears, then it slowly creeped to his baby cheeks, then it went down to his neck. 

 

Peter's jaw fell. "Oh my god! Mr. Stark!"

 

Tony chuckled. "Well, at least that is the back in my day. Do you guys do it on the third date now?"  

 

"What?" Peter flailed  his hands around in sync with his head shaking from disapproval "No, no, no, no! I don't, I-uh-l - no way -um."

 

Tony lost it. He laughed his heart out, seeing the kid so flustered. The kid shrunk down in his seat and covered his face with his hand.

~~~~

"I was thinking, maybe movies?" Peter squeaked. 

 

"Netflix and chill?" Tony said with a suggestive tone and a side smirk to match. Peter still wouldn't look at him.

 

"Um, sex isn't even in my options, Mr. Stark." Peter fiddled with his fingers. "Not until marriage, I think."

 

Tony raised his hands exasperatedly. "Nobody does that purity thing, anymore. Besides, who knows maybe it would happen eventually."

 

Peter tilted his head. 

 

Tony can't help but smile at how pure Peter is. Definitely too good to be a protègé  of his. Peter is going to be a better man than him, that's for sure.

However, with how teenagers act around this days, Tony can't help but feel like he should give The Talk. It'd rather come from him than have the kid learn the lesson the hard way, either by knocking someone up or by getting filthy STDs.

Besides, Howard never even bothered to give him formal dating advice, much less talk about topics as sensitive as sex. This is the least he could do for Peter.

 

"Well," Tony began, "You are in your adolescent stage, the period where hormones rage a lot. It wouldn't be a surprise if sex eventually comes along during your development — though I sincerely hope not, since you're like twelve and you'd risk sending somebody to jail." He chuckled. He let the silent message hang in the air:  _I don't think you are getting laid anytime soon because you're too kind, too innocent, too pure._  

 

"I'm turning sixteen." Peter mumbled, interest still on his fingers. 

 

Tony waved him off. "If you do give in to your urges, I'd like you to remember it's perfectly normal as long as both of you are consenting. You can thank society for demonizing sex. But the thing is, it can help you get to know your partner well. What does she like? What are her turn ons and offs? I think it's the best way to know them intimately, per say."

 

"Intimately?" Peter echoed with a blush. 

 

"Sex is a good way to determine how to make your partner feel good." Tony mused, "If only one of you feels good, then you are basically missing the activity's purpose. Sex is never one sided, after all."

 

Peter said nothing. He just nibbled at his dumpling. 

 

Tony seems to detect his unease. "Kid, look. I understand that this topic is uncomfortable, at best. But I think parents should be open to talk about stuff like this." 

 

Peter gawked at Tony. He processed the writing Mr. Stark imprinted at the wall. 

 

Almost as if to address his thoughts, Tony said with a knowing smile, "You'll  be the closest thing to a son I could ask for, kid."

Peter then did his best to smile, obviously touched by his mentor's words. He smiled in order to hold his tears back. 

 

He remembered when Uncle Ben gave him talks regarding tamer topics, like how he should treat people, how he should deal with bullies. It would be over a meal at night. 

 

_With great power comes great responsibilities._

 

Tony checked his watch. "Seems like it's time to go home, kiddo." He looked sad, as if he doesn't want to let the kid nor the topic go. Rhodey isn't around, Pepper is on a meeting, and Happy would have to drive the kid home.

"Yeah, yeah. I promised MJ I'll be going to bed early. Decathlon  practice and all that." Peter stood up and retrieved his bag. He was perplexed at how fast time flies. As embarrasing  the topic is, he'd like to stick around further just so he could pick Mr. Stark's brain. 

 

"I already informed Happy you'll be going home." Tony said. He doesn't look too happy about it. 

 

Peter chewed his lip, contemplating whether he should or shouldn't. His emotion got the best of him; he went for Tony and embraced him. "Thanks, Mr. Stark." He mumbled against his chest. 

 

Tony's  smile reached his ears. Something in him fluttered. He ruffled the kid's curly hair. "Just don't talk to me when you get an STD. I can't risk getting one of those."

 

They both shared a tender laugh. "That's not how STD infection works. Besides, you're too old for STDs, Mr. Stark." Peter retorted.

 

The drive on the way home is a quiet affair. It was a long day, after all. Peter recieved a text from Mr. Stark halfway through:

 

_I'm sending this text as a friendly reminder. I dare you to delete it._

_Do: use a condom. Remember what i told you about when you get an std_

_Do: try and experiment with your webs and see how she likes it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_

_Don't: film it. Unless you intend to land a reality tv show deal._

_Don't: refer to fifty shades should you wanna mess around with your white sticky stuff coming out of your wrists._

 

_Good night, Underoos._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts for this series are welcome in the comments


End file.
